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Eharmony Review



Review Pros

  • Detailed profile section
  • Well designed website
  • Free unlimited messaging
  • No email verification needed

Review Cons

  • View photos cost money
  • It’s hard to make a contact


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

I never heard of this site! Why did you add it on your directory, FapDude?

You never heard of eHarmony? Well, you don’t know what you’re missing! It is one hell of a dating site and a survey made in 2018 on 1,616 U.S. singles, says that eHarmony is the #1 trusted dating site. Who knows what this means and who the fuck cares … all I know is that this site will bring you a lot of pussy. That’s why I’ve listed it under my dating category which contains the best sites of this niche. Don’t get too excited, because you won’t be able to see many things on the homepage and you won’t be able to go further if you don’t register an account. All dating sites are like this and none of them allows you on the actual platform without getting yourself a nice fresh username!

Every 14 minutes someone finds love on eHarmony! This is a line taken from the homepage! Come on, fuck off! How the fuck did they get to this conclusion? How do they know this? I can understand for them to brag with a motto like “Highest quality dating pool”, but I just can’t accept bullshit like the line above or like FACT: We’ve helped millions of couples find love. And after they say millions, they will come back to write 2 millions. It’s a place where people come to fuck! Period!

Are you sure that if I’ll be here, I’ll get pussy? Isn’t it for romance only?

There is no such thing of dating networks only for romance or for serious relationships! What do you want for the authors to tell you on their homepage? That people have found dating sex, blowjobs, anal fucking, creampie, facial or whatever? It’s not a fucking porn destination, for them to admit what I said above. At least, they are not an official porn site. I am confident that you’ll have a lot of pussy at your disposal and that you’ll fuck them like there’s no tomorrow!

Let me ask you one thing, brother! Was Facebook built as a sex network? Do they admit now that people use it mostly to find hookups and for fucking? ‘Cause this is what’s going on! Sure, some members found their soulmate, they got married with the ones they’ve met on Facebook, but oh so many other members have fucked a hell of a lot of pussy from the biggest network in the world. You understand what I mean? The same thing happens with eHarmony. You can find a wife or you can find a whore!

What are some cool things that you like, when it comes to eHarmony?

There are several cool features on this platform. I don’t know with which one to begin. eHarmony works on a matching system. You don’t have to browse on thousands of profiles to find what you’re looking for. This can be annoying and it can be frustrating. On this platform, the matching system works on 32 key dimensions of compatibility. This will bring together like minded people and for this reason, every match is most likely going to end with a hookup. What’s another cool thing? The number of people active in here, on a weekly basis. 16 million users! And they have 29 millions registered members! Can you comprehend these numbers? Imagine how much pussy will be at your discretion!

The majority of members are between the ages of 24 and 35. This is again a great thing. Girls between this age are into sex like hell! This is the age of adventures, as I said in another review! Remember that most users here are educated and they have a stable lifestyle. So the girls are ladies, brother! The site’s population has an almost equal percentage of women and men. Cool! It’s not like on some other dating places where there are 5 men at 1 chick! Again I must ask, can you imagine how many available girls you will find on eHarmony?

FapDude, be honest now! What are the things that you don’t like at all?

Simple! The fact that you have to pay for some features! But sure, we can get used to this idea, since most of the dating networks are charging real money for different options! Still, if I can, maybe, understand this, for sure I cannot fucking understand how the hell can you consider contacting other members a fucking premium feature? How can you fucking take my money if I want to contact a babe? There are so many options that can be considered premium, some whatever thing that can help you match faster, that can help you promote your profile, dunno! But to not allow people to connect with someone else without paying, is the most fucked up thing I ever heard!

What else I don’t like? The site doesn’t allow you to search on your own, on the network. What you get as matching is the only thing that you will have, when it comes to seeing the other members. Another fucked up thing. This gives you no freedom of action. Well, people say that they have been pioneers when it comes to their matching system and therefore, we should trust them to bring as wet twats!

WTF? Isn’t there anything I can do in free mode to let the girl know I’m here?

You can send her winks, brother. I just noticed that you can do that. They are like pokes. We all know what pokes are, don’t we? I am curious – are they still on? Can we poke people!? Is still a fucking thing nowadays or it’s long forgotten? I don’t even know how to find the poke page. Alright, let’s get back on track … what else can you do, to let the girl know that you have an erection? Well, use the automated questions. As I told you above (and this makes me angry again), you cannot message the chick, without buying a premium account. But you can fucking send her automated questions. WTF is this? Come on …

At least they allow you to make your own favorites list, where you can add, for free, the babes that you like. You should use that list to keep those that you fucked, those that will be fucked soon and those that you would like to fuck in the future. Kinky and nasty, don’t you think? I don’t know what else to do. Maybe they have some other things around here and I didn’t discover them yet!

How’s the profile section? Will I get the chance to see profiles for free?

Brother, let me put it this way! eHarmony is a place where you can, indeed, find sex. But it is a place for people with money. Those that can pay with ease for the premium features. It’s not like it is expensive, but still it costs some money. You cannot see photos on profiles for free. It’s good that you can arrange your profile and the details on it, without the CC. At least this …

Profiles have lots of info. This will help people match better. A detailed profile will increase the chance for a match to be successful! Be careful what you write in there. This will give you pussy that you want so bad!

Can I take eHarmony with me when I leave my home, on a mobile app?

Of course, yeah. It would have been really fucked up for them to not have an app good for iOS and Android, when they charge for anything on their platform. And the mobile app is quite great, if you ask me.

All their features are available on this app, so I see no reason for you not to use it! I think that our discussion has ended with this question, brother! Go ahead and see why I keep on telling you that eHarmony is going to be your sex place, by visiting it! Have fun!

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