Men want to know, women want to have you! What’s going on here?
I’ve seen superheroes on their knees, in front of me! For the love of porn – and they know I’m the king! I’ve seen gods asking around about me and eventually going on their knees, in front of me! For the love of porn – and they know I’m the only god of porn! Yipee ki-yay, motherfuckers! The FapDude is here! With a directory filled with the best porn sites! Yeah, some people tried to do this and they’ve done it! I did it better! That’s why I rule this kingdom of porn directories. From dusk ‘till dawn, I just work! Coffee, pussy, bikini models around me! That’s how I get my inspiration, boy! I finger yo’ mama and Paris Hilton! That’s how I managed to put together a directory that delivers the hottest, greatest, most popular and most famous, the best porn tubes, the best free porn sites, the best premium porn and everything else that has ‘porn’ and ‘sites’ in it!
You are amazing, FapDude! Should we bow? Should we thank you?
You can bow! You can thank me! All my competitors did that already! The mofos did not understand that I can do what they did, but better! With better porn sites, better in every way! Much more free porn! You wanna know how it started, boy? It started with my passion for porn! As I already said – For the love of porn! I was a kid. Young as fuck! I am still young, but it’s my second youth! It’s that second youth when I have to drive a red sports car, if you know what I mean! And yes, it all started when I was a kid. My favorite porn sites were on a notepad .txt list. I’ve made that list to be sure that I will never forget or lose them. And I had categories, the same that I have here, on the directory: best free amateur porn, best live sex cam sites, best premium porn, best free asian porn, best free indian XXX, ebony porno sites, best hentai and so on. The list became bigger and bigger, the VALUE on that list was insane, I started to know all the secrets, all the magic of porn. I felt like a god on earth! So, I decided to share my knowledge with the mortals! And to continue to improve my list!
What are your future plans with this directory, FapDude?
I will not stop here! My life is on these pages! I will keep on searching for more and more porn and I will keep on updating my site with the best XXX videos available on the world wide web! The main focus is to gather every possible HD porn video, every possible 4K porn scene, every possible XXX scene, under one roof! And every worthy tube, like xVideos, xHamster, Pornhub, RedTube, YouPorn! And every worthy studio that has premium porn, like Brazzers, Nubile-Films, Reality Kings, Mofos, Naughty America, FakeHub and so many others! Let’s not forget the pornstars! Where would we be without them? I wonder how many of you would leave their wife and children for a pornstar! Well, not me, I’m not married (or am I?! – I should fucking drink less, ‘cause I can’t remember) and I have banged oh! so many porn models! My directory will bring you the stars from the night sky in free porn videos or in premium porn! And these stars are Asa Akira, Bonnie Rotten, Anna Bell Peaks, August Ames (may God rest her beautiful soul!), Mia Khalifa (fucked her one time in Lisbon), Riley Reid, Abella Danger, Mia Malkova, Adriana Chechik, Brandi Love, Nicole Aniston, Alexis Texas, Dillion Harper or the lovely Dani Daniels.
You tell the truth and nothing but the truth in the reviews?
Boy, listen to me and listen to me good. I don’t give a flying fuck about what people think about me or what you think about me. I don’t care! I know I’m good, I know that I deliver, for example, the best BDSM porno on the web! Or, that I deliver the hottest teen porno videos! Or the hottest Reddit pages with the hottest homemade porno clips! For free! And I also know that I spend a hell of a lot of time writing what I think about a place and what it offers, how it looks like, so forth and so on. I do it for you! And I speak from the heart and it gets harder every day! In the end, if you want to believe what I write and if you want to follow my lead, it’s up to you! All I know is that I will never disappoint you! I surf the web with the speed of light, I yell at porn webmasters telling them to improve their sites, I talk with the pornstars to move their ass better next time or to suck the cock deeper, I’m doing this and I’m doing that, to make porn worthy of your time! My directory is a bible of dirty things! The hottest dirty things! Think about it this way! If it would be for this planet to find its resting place and you have to save the best porn sites, in order to restart the industry when we will set our colony on a different planet, my XXX directory would give you the perfect list! Naah, don’t fucking bow when you see me, even if I am the god of porn! Just name your first born after me! Especially since I’m the one who, through the power of the porn shared on this directory, made the pregnancy possible! Without a little help, you would have never fucked your fat wifey! I am here to stay and win this game! It’s a promise!
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